♥ Sunday, October 2, 2011
Hello all! :)
I have undergone 5 weeks of my Uni life, and so far everything's pretty good. Not too busy, as I'm only taking 3 modules this semester, unlike most of my friends who are taking 5-6 modules. Nonetheless, all of us shall work hard together! :)
Life these days? Party, party, and more parties. I have been partying almost on every Friday nights. You know what? I'm happy this way. I love to party; I love to drink. :D Don't judge me for this, though. I love it being single and free! :)
Now, I'd like to share some thoughts on my singlehood life: -
Read a few posts which were posted during a particular period of time. That triggered me to update my blog tonight.
Most of those said blog posts were sad and negative ones. What an irony! So who says being in a relationship is great? I don't find it the case anymore since that disaster (yes I have to use such tragic word). In addition, seeing one of my girlfriends being so unhappy in her current relationship just further proves my point of view. I don't need any guy. Especially since I'm aware of the fact that I love to party; thus I will find trouble to myself for having a boyfriend as he will most likely disagree on me partying. However, I have learnt my lesson. I won't and I repeat I freakin' won't allow my future boyfriend to control or restrain me from clubbing. Either he accepts it or we don't even get together. I won't be the kind of submissive girlfriend anymore. If possible, I'd try not to engage in a relationship with a guy who clubs. I have witnessed too much; far too much - cases whereby guys, who have a girlfriend, doing improper acts behind her back. What bastards. I won't be able to engage in a suspicion-free relationship with a clubber. Yes, I myself am one too, thus I might sound too selfish. However, it's my past personal experience, as well as the scenes I witness, which cause how I think today.
I'm so sick of this thing called "love". It's been more than half a year. My heart just can't seem to "open" and accept anymore. It's been well guarded by this thick wall around it, preventing me from falling and getting hurt. It has done its job pretty well. In this case I can save myself from potential heartaches. However, on the other hand, it makes me not know how to feel loved anymore. My mind, my head, know that who is genuinely good to me, but not my heart. My heart can't feel it, though I myself am aware of it. I hate this. This has made me lost what could have been mine, lost really good guys, lost the chances. I'm sucha biatch. :(
People have been telling me to open my heart, but I just can't do it. I don't have the faith in guys anymore; as I can't learn to trust, I don't want to fall in love. You know how a person can be a great friend but not a good partner. I don't want to eventually lose a good friend just because we got into a relationship and broke off thereafter. Very tiring, really. It's even more heartbreaking that is. Miss some of those guy friends who were once really close to me at some points in my life. Why can't two people of the opp gender be really great friends all the way? Thinking of these makes my heart aches alot.
All in all this thing called love is bad. Really bad. I don't like. Who can save me and change my view in love again? No, I'm not yearning to be in love all over again. In fact, I pretty much love being single like this. Happy and so carefree. :3
That should sum up my thoughts about being in a relationship.
Gotta ciaaooo! ❤
Penned downn @ 10:08 PM
